Independents' Day (2016)
Yes, that apostrophe is in the right place. It’s an Asylum film.
Asylum is, of course, known for the crazy movies nicknamed “mockbusters,” and Independents’ Day is a takeoff of Independence Day, only minus Jeff Goldblum, Will Smith, and Bill Pullman. Which means it’s lame as all get-out, although not nearly as absurdly fun as Titanic II or Blood Lake.
Again, like Independence Day, the movie is all about when some aliens come to take over the earth. They call themselves Orions and just want to help because we’ve made such a mess of living on our planet. Anyone who doesn’t comply will be killed.
Can they be trusted? Well…not exactly. The Orions, who at first give off Cylon vibes, heal President Ramey’s disabled son, Bobby, but on the other hand, they blow up the White House and shoot humans into space without a spaceship. Yes, really.
Understandably the Earthlings err on the side of alien extermination, and one of the ways they go about it is by joining forces with some local militias. These folks are lean, mean, and make some pretty dumb decisions, but that’s par for the course with everyone, so it’s not exactly a stretch.
The thing about Asylum movies, if anyone’s unfamiliar with them, is that they all tend to be bad in the same ways. So much so that we could play Bingo with all the tropes. Seeing as that’s a little hard, though, we’re going to improvise, which means it’s now time for the Asylum Movie Checklist! Does Independents’ Day have…
Shoddy writing and an unengaging story? Put it this way: I tried watching the movie twice and both times I fell asleep.
Bad filming angles? Good golly, yes. We see every pore and every line on the actors’ faces, plus the camera is close when it should be far away and far away when it should be close. It’s What Not To Do 101.
Bad lighting and weird color composition? Danged right. The outdoor scenes all use a muddy blue filter that makes Madame President’s very unflattering shade of orange lipstick look even worse.
Extras acting out of character? Yep. When the police are trying to hold back the crowds from rushing the spacecraft, some of the extras giggle. At least none of them are adjusting their bras like in Titanic II.
Shutters standing in for real backdrops? Uh, yeah. Asylum LOVES shutters.
Bad CGI? Naturally. Not as bad as Transmorphers, but still subpar.
Really obvious goofs? Danged right. A lot of user reviews have mentioned, for instance, that the military uniforms all look wrong, with insignia on backwards or completely absent. And what was the point of that super-reinforced bunker under the White House if it was just going to poop out from a direct hit?
Wooden acting? In spades, especially among the militia members. Kelly Reed, for instance, would have done well to watch a few R. Lee Ermey movies before strapping on his rifle.
Global warming as scapegoat? Oh gosh, yes. The Orions are very clear that Humans Have Ruined Planet Earth.
So yeah, Independents’ Day ticks all the Asylum boxes and more, but if anyone’s new to the Asylum universe I don’t know if I’d start with it. Other mockbusters are much, much funnier.
Independents’ Day is currently streaming on Amazon Prime and Tubi. Not rated.
My grade: F
Principal Cast: Faye Gauthier, Sal Landi, Johnny Ray Diaz, Matthew Riley, John Edward Wright, Jude B. Lanston, Jacqueline Arroyo, William Castrogiovanni, Vishesh Chachra, Brian Taylor Cohen, Christos Kalabogias, Jes Selane, Kurt Sinclair, Jonathan Thomson, Holger Moncada Jr., Donre Walker, Mark Bashian, Tom G.
Directed by Laura Beth Love.
Written by Geoff Meed.