The Meg 2: The Trench (2023)
The Meg 2: The Trench is a film I can’t help but be mixed about and I know I’m not alone in this idea. On one hand, it’s really, really cheesy and predictable. On the other hand, it’s a fun popcorn flick. Maybe the title should have been The “Meh” 2: The Shrug.
If anyone’s unfamiliar with the movie’s 2018 predecessor, it’s about an offshore scientific research outpost that gets attacked by a megalodon, and Jonas, an expert diver and Navy Captain, has to save the day. Well, not by himself, of course, as he does have a crew to help, provided the meg hasn’t chomped them first.
It’s an OK movie, nothing remarkable. It tries hard to be Jaws, but it’s not nearly as clever, mostly because all the characters are types and the China-pandering is painfully obvious. Every computer screen is half in English and half in Chinese, not to mention the United States is never mentioned even though some of the characters are American, and every pop song is translated into Chinese. It feels contrived and cliched, but it passes the time. Its cute moments mostly involve Meiying, the little girl who’s on the rig with her mother, Suyin, and grandfather, Zhang.
The second Meg kicks things up a notch or five. We don’t see the megs as often because there’s a subplot revolving around a rogue mining group stealing resources and equipment from a research project Jonas and his buddies from the first movie, Mac and DJ are involved in. Meiying is still around, because her uncle, Juiming is on the project and Jonas is kind of her adopted dad, her mom having died in 2021.
I don’t want to give too many spoilers, but in addition to the megs, we also see these lizard-y reptiles that can live on land or sea, plow through tall grasses, and chomp at anything that moves. There’s a kraken, and it’s out for a fight. Our heroes have to hike three kilometres in these nifty underwater suits that are so strong they can punch through concrete. Juiming is buddies with a friendly megalodon, Haiqi, who he’s raised in captivity, and she feels a little frisky. Everything converges at a place whose name loosely translates to “Fun Island,” (!) where the rogue miners also happen to be.
A lot of people die. Some of it defies logic, like when Driscoli, the leader of the rogue mining company gets dragged away from a helicopter by one of the lizard things, only to somehow get back to the heli, where she dies anyway from the lizard chomping at her, her stiletto-clad feet sticking forlornly into the air. We don’t miss her.
Some aspects of the franchise get beefed up considerably, sometimes literally. DJ, in particular, has been working out and can do karate like a boss, whereas in the first movie he was more geeky than anything. He also carries a backpack with him full of wonderous surprises such as a gun with poison-tipped bullets, explosives, a mirror, a taser, and condoms. “There are different kinds of emergencies,” he says.
We never know what’s going to come out of that pack next and it must be a truly remarkable conveyance, because the old adage about keeping one’s powder dry doesn’t seem to apply. And DJ makes like MacGyver in some scenes, improvising on the spot, except that MacGyver would never have used a gun, let alone a gun with poison-tipped bullets.
While, again, there are a lot of fun parts and the stakes are pretty good, the problem is that the movie tells us what’s going to happen before it happens. When Meiying sneaks on board the submersible with Jonas and some of the crew, her excuse is that Jonas does these dives all the time with no problems. Naturally, she says this right before the mission goes straight to Hades. When the characters have to walk back to the research station, Lance, the resident ComicCon geek, keeps lagging behind the group because the subterranean ocean floor is just so purty, and it’s no shock that he gets eaten first.
In another scene, while two of the characters are off to the side talking about the mole that’s invaded the research station, a third character is in the foreground giving them the side-eye. Oh gee, I wonder what that’s all about? Of course they turn out to be a baddie, and (spoiler alert) a meg breaks through a window and swallows him or her.
The China-pandering is a thing again, but it’s not as overt as it was in the first movie, likely because Jason Statham is one of the producers on 2. They do, however, do their darnedest to shoehorn it in, such as in the reception scene when Juiming makes a speech to the guests in Chinese after Driscoli has introduced him in English. Groan. It still feels contrived, guys.
The other problem is that the movie tries to do too many things at once. We’ve got the villains, the lizard thingies, the kraken, and the megs all in one place, and there’s a lot of snapping worthy of Hungry, Hungry Hippos. It’s a toss-up whether people will die by murderous creatures, murderous miners, or one of DJ’s many gadgets.
And it feels hackneyed. My mind went to Jurassic Park, then Sharkansas Women’s Prison Massacre (yes, that’s a real movie), then to Sharknado 2, only without chainsaws. And the movie knows it’s a hackjob: DJ credits his poisoned bullets idea to Jaws 2.
Sigh.
Oh, and the CGI is shoddy, especially for a 2023 movie.
Like I said, The Meg 2 has its moments, and while it might be yet another fun popcorn flick, it’s a pretty forgettable one.
The Meg 2: The Trench is currently in theaters. Rated PG-13.
My grade: C
Principal Cast: Jason Statham, Jing Wu, Shuya Sophia Cai, Cliff Curtis, Page Kennedy, Sergio Peres-Mencheta, Skyler Samuels, Melissanthi Mahut, Whoopie Van Raam, Kiran Sonia Sawar, Felix Mayr, Sienna Guillory, Tao Guo, Robin Hill, Lele Dai, Ivy Tsui, Stewart Alexander, Xiong Jinji
Directed by Ben Wheatley.
Written by Jon Hoeber, Erich Hoeber, and Dean Georgaris.