The House On Haunted Hill (1999)
As I said in my Blair Witch Project review, I’m not usually a big fan of horror movies, namely slashers, so people who know me may raise their eyebrows when they see this. However, I am a bit of a Vincent Price fan and have seen the 1959 classic, The House On Haunted Hill more times than I can count. It’s just scary enough with a light touch of camp and a great cast. So how does the 1999 remake hold up? Well…
The short and simple summary of the original movie’s plot is this: Eccentric millionaire Fredrick Loren and his very fashionable wife, Annabelle, invite five people who have never met for a “Haunted House Night” at a local mansion. Anyone who makes it through the night will come into a large sum of money.
Only it’s not going to be an easy night. Each guest gets a loaded handgun for their protection, the household help like to creep around and make scary faces, and the house has a few secrets. Who is left standing at the end is anyone’s guess.
The plot of the 1999 remake is very similar except that the Fredrick character is named Stephen Price (hmmm) and the house was once an insane asylum that burned down. Except for a few rooms that have been made habitable, the rest of the building has been left just as it was, in all its grody, slimy, bloody degeneracy. One by one the characters die horrible deaths and the big question is, as it is in the 1959 original, who will be left standing at the end.
Oh, and Stephen is an amusement park mogul who likes rides that seem to break and go to Hades before bringing his rightfully freaked-out guests in for a landing, so it’s tempting to think he had a hand in the house being so creepy. Or did he?
These two movies are by no means created equal. The problem is that the 1999 version blows its wad from the word “Go.” It’s as if the film wants to be a Michael Bay movie only with horror, and this is a story that needs a light touch. There’s no mystery to the remake whatsoever; these characters already know they’re in a bad place so there’s basically nothing to do but wander around and snipe at each other while we, the audience, wait for one of them to die painfully.
Geoffrey Rush’s Stephen Price is like a cross between John Waters and James Woods, only really sleazy, which made me long for Vincent Price’s elegant, cool Fredrick Loren. Stephen does redeem himself to a degree, but there are other elements at play that blunt the effect.
Not to mention, it doesn’t seem to occur to these characters that they don’t have to wander around the creepy parts of the house all the time. They could stay at the bar. But no, we have jump scares and grisly deaths to get in, so it’s heigh ho for dark and slimy.
I also longed for the quirky dwelling of the earlier version, the exteriors of which which were filmed at the peerless Ennis House in Los Angeles. Inside it’s just a normal, average Victorian mansion(!) that looks comfortable enough to pass the night in, albeit a bit dusty. It asks the viewer to think and maybe jump out of their seat now and then.
Whereas the 1999 version doesn’t ask much except take what comes and not overanalyze anything. It has its moments, but the Vincent Price version will always win out for me.
The House On Haunted Hill is currently streaming on HBO Max. Rated: R
My grade: D+
Principal cast: Geoffrey Rush, Famke Janssen, Taye Diggs, Peter Gallegher, Chris Kattan, Ali Larter, Bridgette Wilson-Sampras, Max Perlich
Directed by William Malone
Written by Dick Beebe