Shazam! Fury of the Gods (2023)
The gang from the first Shazam! movie is back, and naturally, everyone’s older, their minds are on other pursuits, and they want to grow up a bit. Not to mention their public image has taken a nosedive, with the group being called the Philadelphia Fiascos because nothing is really going right for them. They might save everyone who’s trapped on the Ben Franklin Bridge but the bridge still collapses.
Family tensions have to wait, though, because the world is about to be destroyed by an evil Greek goddess, Kalypso, and lots of buildings will go smashie-smashie, including the Citizen’s Bank Park. Most of Philadelphia will be covered by a giant dome.
Yep, they went there. And there’s no mildly friendly Russ Cargill to pretend everything’s OK, either. Well, two of Kalypso’s sisters are pretty nice once people get to know them, so that’s good.
Don’t get me wrong, the movie has its fun spots. It’s got the family atmosphere of the first installment, and Zachary Levi is still a kid in a beefy superhero’s body, so he gets all awkward and flustered and it’s cute. The Lair is pretty fun. It’s got lava lamps, cushy couches, and a popcorn machine. It’s also got a Hall of Doors and a magical pen named Steve that takes dictation. All dictation.
The problem is, the movie is so cliche-ridden and haphazard, not to mention it’s way too long. There are too many little side plots that do nothing for the story. Dame Helen Mirren is absolutely underutilized in her role as Hespera. And there’s a pretty awkward dream sequence involving a wizard and Wonder Woman.
Ugh. Did these people learn nothing from Jaws: The Revenge?
At least there are plenty of Skittles. Uh huh. It’s a two-hour Skittles commercial. The Wrigley Company paid the filmmakers a lot of money and there are Skittles everywhere. That bit in the trailer is just the tip of the, er, rainbow. The characters eat Skittles all through the movie. When Hespera is held prisoner in the Lair, Darla brings her a giant bowl of lemon Skittles because Hespera doesn’t deserve the cherry ones.
I literally wrote “Face palm” in my notes when that happened, and it wasn’t the only time. I also wrote “Vote For Pedro,” which is another matter entirely, but it felt good.
Also, those creepy unicorns we see in the trailer? Darla butters them up by throwing Skittles at them. It’s not only a shameless promotion but absolutely useless because the unicorns serve no other purpose than to give Billy’s family something to do while he’s off fighting Kalypso.
Now I know why California’s legislature is talking about banning Skittles: They’re afraid of attracting creepy unicorns.
Just kidding. I know that’s not the reason. Anywhoo…
I watched Shazam! yesterday morning with six other people in the theater, and every one of them were up and down, in and out of the theater the whole two hours and ten minutes. I never saw so many johnny jump-ups, and that's not a slam—the movie just didn't seem to be holding their attention. One guy even hung around the door after the credits rolled because he wanted to know if there was a post-credit scene but nature called too loudly to ignore. I got the impression the movie kind of bored him, too.
Whereas at Jesus Revolution no one moved the entire time. That’s pretty telling.
While Shazam! has its moments, the sophomore slump is definitely in evidence. I hope they make more of these movies, and I’m saying that as someone who’s generally bored by most superhero flicks, but I’m not holding my breath.
Shazam! Fury of the Gods is currently in theaters. Rated PG-13.
My grade: C
Principal cast: Zachary Levi, Dame Helen Mirren, Lucy Liu, Rachel Zegler, Asher Angel, Jack Dylan Grazer, Adam Brody, Ross Brady, D. J. Cotrona, Grace Carolina Currey, Meagan Good, Djimon Hounsou
Directed by David F. Sandberg.
Written by Henry Gayden, Chris Morgan, and Bill Parker.