Eternity (2025)
Where will you spend eternity? It’s a loaded and very old question, of course, but it obviously has to be asked. The endlessly cute Eternity asks it, but then adds a little twist: Who will you spend eternity with?
We know going in that this is a fantasy about the afterlife so theological accuracy is not a thing. Like Here Comes Mr. Jordan without the whoops factor, only Eternity leans much harder into the comedy. It’s got some issues that it begs us to overlook, but we’ll get to that.
Larry and Joan have been married for decades. Their life has been happy, full of kids, fun, and a not unreasonable amount of obstacles just like anyone else. When the movie opens, Joan has terminal cancer, which they haven’t told the family about yet, but they’ll figure it out.
Tragedy strikes at their son and daughter-in-law’s gender reveal party. Larry eats a pretzel, chokes, hits his head, and finds himself in the afterlife. Joan follows a week later. The first stop is a waystation, where the newly deceased are given lots of choices about where they’ll spend eternity, and the themes are endless. Women can choose to live in a world without men. Someone else might choose to live in a medical drama. Or in the mountains. Or at the beach. Or at the library. Or at museums.
It’s like Disneyland for dead people, but of course, there’s a catch: Once someone picks, that’s it. They have to stick with their choice for all eternity, and they can’t visit other themes or visit people outside of their theme. They can only leave their themes by a certain red door, and when they’re inevitably caught, they’re cast out into a void for all eternity.
Larry’s choice is simple: He’ll wait for Joan to show up, and they’ll pick a theme.
Only problem is, Joan’s first husband, Luke, who was killed in the Korean War, is there too, and he’s been waiting sixty-seven years for Joan. Joan now has to choose who she’ll be with for all eternity, and there are no backsies.
It gets complicated, of course.
Miles Teller as Larry is fantastic. He plays Larry like an old man in a young man’s body, and he could easily pass for Dean Martin’s grandson. He’s a good foil for Elizabeth Olsen, who wears a perpetually shocked look for a good portion of the movie but she still makes us like her. Callum Turner as Luke, the final corner of the triangle, gets the job done, but comes across as a guy on borrowed time, so he’s pretty restrained. I won’t get specific, but it kinda ends up giving the story away to a degree. Those stakes that supposedly exist might not be as high as they seem.
Eternity asks us to ignore certain things; first of all, its spiritual murkiness and cynicism, especially towards Christianity, and as it goes on the murkiness and cynicism get thicker. Again, this is to be expected. No one expects a movie like this to be a play-by-play guide of the afterlife, which no one can predict as far as everything we’ll do, but it’s a safe bet that unless someone really does end up in hell, they won’t be doing or feeling the same things every day for all eternity.
There’s a certain hellishness to picking a theme for one’s eternity, because both life and pleasure feed on variety at least to a certain extent. Someone might like to hike or go to the beach, but not all the time. It’s like what would happen if Christmas were literally every day: While it’s fun at first, after a while it gets more and more boring, not to mention impractical. It’s a wonder that everyone in this movie isn’t bolting for those red doors.
Plus, the idea that we can’t visit loved ones in the afterlife is so offputting. Why would anyone want this? In fact, one of the things that I keep hearing from older people or people who have lost someone close to them, is that they look forward to the afterlife because it means they can see their loved ones again. “You do you,” says Eternity, unless you want to visit your family or friends. That’s depressing.
Again, though, Eternity is not a movie to take seriously. It’s fun, it’s witty, and it’s a straightahead romcom, a rarity in Hollywood nowadays. That’s not a bad thing, as long as we can ignore the narrative issues and condescending attitude toward religion.
Eternity is currently in theaters. Rated PG-13.
My grade: B-
Principal Cast: Miles Teller, Elizabeth Olsen, Callum Turner, Da’Vine Joy Randolph, John Early, Christie Burke, Danny Mac, Damon Johnson, Lucy Turnbull, Olga Merediz, Barry Primus, Betty Buckley, Carson Bokenfohr, Megan Roe, Taliya Brielle Evans, Panta Mosleh, Sebastian Billingsley-Rodriguez, Ryan Bell
Directed by David Freyne.
Written by Patrick Cunnane and David Freyne.