Brave New Jersey (2016)
Lullaby, New Jersey lives up to its name. It’s a quiet, sleepy place where not much happens and the minister is late to church because his alarm clock doesn’t work. It’s the day before Halloween,1938 and no one’s in a hurry for anything to change.
Some people try, though. Paul Davison has supposedly invented a new milking machine that will be super efficient and in his mind he has nowhere to go but up. He’s full of himself and he knows it, but his wife, Lorraine, daughter Ann, and visiting Polish cousin Ziggy are pretty down-to-earth. Even so, the town refers to them as “the Rockefellers.”
Again, everything seems very staid and stagnant, and the town of Lullaby likes it that way. Then Orson Wells’ infamous War Of the Worlds broadcast hits the airwaves.
To say the town freaks out is an understatement. Grover’s Mill is a couple of hours away, after all. At first they speculate about what to do, and then, on the advice of the reclusive Captain Ambrose P. Collins, they stake out a local farm to fortify, where they sit around cleaning their guns, eating stew prepared by the very taciturn and passive Mayor Clark Hill, and baring their souls. Some people hole up inside the church with the pastor, who draws everyone’s initials on their foreheads in ashes so the aliens know who’s who.
Paul has seemingly abandoned his family, and Clark sees an opportunity to declare his love for Lorraine, who doesn’t mind. She even stands up for Clark later when the town takes their frustrations out on him and then watches helplessly as Clark is escorted home. He’ll be back, though, with his guitar in tow because he has something to say. Or sing, rather.
Meanwhile, all the kids are barricaded in the schoolhouse with a local elderly lady and not allowed to leave, but Ann and Ziggy sneak out on the pretense of Ziggy having to drop a hefty number two. After that, they wander around the town, sneak into the general store for ice cream, and finally go to Captain Collins’ house, where they turn on the radio and find out there’s no imminent threat of invasion.
This movie is supposed to be funny, I guess.
It’s not, though. Not very much, anyway. There were scenes when I was literally asking, “I’m supposed to be laughing, right? Why am I not laughing?”
The movie has a good cast. I particularly enjoyed seeing Tony Hale, best known as Buster on Arrested Development, Heather Burns, who excels at playing off-center characters, and Jack Landry, who played Rob Allen on the Christy TV show. Unfortunately, they can’t save Brave New Jersey, which has an interesting premise but exceedingly pallid delivery.
First off, there are some real logic leaps here. If Clark is so marginalized by the town, how did he get elected to the mayor’s office in the first place, and if he’s that retiring, how does he do the job? Except for someone calling him “Mr. Mayor” in the first scene and his presiding over the town meeting later, it’s never apparent that Clark is the mayor. He looks more like a general handyman that everyone either ignores or bosses around. Not that he has to be Taylor Doose, but he could be a little less of a milquetoast.
Secondly, given how fast news generally travels in small towns, one would think that once Ann and Ziggy discover no aliens are coming they would start telling people and other people would start telling people, and so on, but no, they decide to play tag next to some bales of hay and freak everyone out. Then they set Paul’s mysterious milking machine going, which is, improbably, full of fireworks and freak people out even more. And through all of this, no one talks about what Ann and Ziggy heard on the radio.
Yep, Brave New Jersey is a weak movie. There’s no getting around it. While it’s nice seeing a lot of familiar faces, the flaccid plot and even more flaccid characterizations take center stage.
Brave New Jersey is currently streaming on Amazon Prime. Rated TV-14.
My grade: B-
Principal cast: Anna Camp, Heather Burns, Tony Hale, Dan Bakkedahl, Sam Jaeger, Raymond J. Barry, Erika Alexander, Evan Jonigkeit, Mel Rodriguez, Grace Kaufman, Matt Oberg, Leonard Earl Howze, Sandra Ellis Lafferty, Noah Lomax, Adina Eady, Jack Landry, Blaque Fowler, Bill Coelius
Directed by Jody Lambert.
Written by Michael Dowling and Jody Lambert.